Sapiosexuals are sexually attracted to intelligent partners and consider intelligence to be the most attractive sexual characteristics in others. Therefore, for sapiosexuals, intelligence is a real turn-on, meaning that is a feature that attracts sexually, and not just a fundamental factor when choosing a partner with whom to establish a relationship.
The term (previously used by the Urban Dictionary in 2012) became known in 2014, when a dating site, OkCupid, included it among the different sexual orientations, quickly finding a high number of people who self-identified with this orientation.
Although some call it a sexual orientation, bear in mind that sapiosexuals can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual and so on.
Today we know that intelligence is a mental function that includes multiple faculties and it would therefore be more appropriate to speak of intelligenceS. Precisely for this reason, we will find sapiosexuals attracted to erudite people, able to talk about philosophy, history, or politics, others who will be attracted to individuals with remarkable artistic skills, others attracted to speed of thought or problem solving skills.
Are there more sapiosexual women or men?
In the clinical practice, we find many more women, although some studies have not found a significant gender difference. If we think of the theory of evolution, it is understandable that a woman can be attracted to intelligence. Let’s think about animals: females of different species tend to mate with “intelligent” males because they are able to build safer dens or nests and to find strategies to protect their offspring from dangers. In the human species, a woman might go for an intelligent man since this often coincides with the possibility that the partner will find a good job, establish a good social position and will therefore be able to guarantee the survival of the offspring. Men, on the other hand, tend to choose young women, as this is unconsciously identifies with “healthy”, and therefore able to carry a pregnancy to term and ensure the survival of their genes.
How smart does one need to be to attract a sapiosexual?
According to an Australian study (Gignac et al., 2017), sapiosexuals are attracted to people with above average intelligence (IQ of 120, while the average ranges between 95 and 110), but not to people considered real “genius” (ex. IQ of 135). Sapiosexuals would probably risk to feel inhibited by individuals with such high IQs, or feel inferior.
Are there any specific dating apps for sapiosexuals?
Yes, there are “Sapio-intelligence dating” and “Sapiophile”.
And now the question that everyone would like to ask: What does a sapiosexual want in bed?
Even though everyone is different and each person will be responsive to different stimuli, for most sapiosexuals, are deep conversations that are able to ignite the passion. Speaking, therefore, for a long time, about non-trivial topics, listening and giving space to the partner as well. A tango of the brains. Then there are the “auditory” sapiosexuals, who like to talk even while making love –obviously not about philosophy!– whispering erotic words, or creating a narrated fantasy, together with their partner. Here too, it’s the brains that play and have sex, rather than the bodies.